Many business leaders resolve to jump-start their networking game in the New Year, a resolution more often than not accompanied by a vague sense of dread.

Question:  Why do so many of us dislike the concept of networking? 

Answer:  Networking has a reputation as a manipulative, self-serving, ineffectual, sleazy endeavor involving hard sells and soft cheese. 

Turns out real networking couldn’t be more different from these common misconceptions. Results-driven networking is defined by mutually beneficial, authentic relationships.  You heard me right.  Quality networking means forging meaningful, lasting connections one person at a time.  Nothing cheesy about it.

As it turns out, this is your lucky day.  I’ve compiled ten astounding tips for your personal edification, propelling you ten giant steps closer to your Big Goals of 2016.

1. Play to Your Strengths

Don’t fight against your naturally loveable disposition.  Inauthentic behavior makes networking backfire, causing you to blow out faster than a sixteen-wheeler on hot asphalt.  Transform presumed networking liabilities into assets.  Don’t like to blab? Prefer to soak it in?  Ask thoughtful questions and really listen.  Your popularity will soar.

2. Establish Goals

Why are you attending an event?  The best goals are challenging yet achievable.  Set clear, measurable goals or don’t bother going. Before heading out the door, ask yourself, “What will make the event worthwhile for me?”

3. Volunteer

Arrange in advance to help out. Many of us are more comfortable when we have a designated, structured role. Working the event provides you with a specific reason to engage with others, rather than poking around for small talk.  Plus, volunteering positions you as helpful, hospitable, and handy to have around.

4. Arrive early

It is better to enter a casually populated room with a few friendly people than one with a boisterous crowd packed close together. Gatherings are cozier near the beginning, participants are more accessible, and conversations go deeper.

5. Be cool

Be positive, gracious, and upbeat.  Maintain eye contact and smile.  It is impossible to predict who the ‘right people’ turn out to be, so decide whoever’s in front of you is the best person for you to interact with at that moment.  Your job is to find out why.

6. Get in Line

Lines provide a fine alternative to standing around solo.  There are only two people nearby – the person behind you and the person in front of you. Ask about work, a unique accessory, the origin of an interesting name, or what brought them to the event. Completing your time in line provides a built-in closer—exchange contact information and be on your way.

7. Write it Down

We tend to overestimate our own memories.  Immediately jot pertinent facts on business cards of new acquaintances.  Include:

  • Name, with pronunciation hints
  • Event location and date
  • Personal facts (family, birthday, interests . . .)
  • A conversation highlight

When the time comes to follow up, you’ve given yourself the gift of a cheat sheet.

8. Do Less

Prioritize your time, manage your energy.  Shining bright at one event is smarter than straggling into every networking opportunity crossing your path.  Grant yourself mini-recharge breaks at programs.  Head outside for a breather, step away to refresh, or decompress on a brisk walk.  Let go of what you should do; free yourself up to what appeals.  You will be more appealing to others in the process.

9. End Gracefully

Never allow a conversation to fizzle out past its prime. You want to avoid causing others to feel trapped in conversation.  Try:

  • May I have your card? It was great meeting you.
  • Have you met [colleague passing by]?
  • I promised myself I’d circulate—I better walk around.
  • I’m sure you want to talk with others; I won’t hold you up.

If you claim to be headed somewhere, really go.

10. Follow up

The time you invest in networking goes swirling down the proverbial drain without follow-up.  Write a personal note within forty-eight hours; we forget half of what we hear within two days.  Be useful – include an article link, provide relevant information, or connect your new acquaintance with a valuable resource.  Want to really stand out? Mail a handwritten note.  Bam!

Network on your own terms.  As a recovered networking-phobic myself, I know you can exceed your wildest networking expectations…and reap the benefits by achieving your previously elusive professional and personal goals.

No one sees a flower, really.  We haven’t time.

For to see a flower takes time,

like to have a friend takes time.  – Georgia O’Keefe 

The holidays are upon us.  The air is crisp; the few remaining leaves crackle.  As we dig out last year’s coats, we reach towards next year’s potential. 

Ambitious, we aim for higher achievements in 2016.  Expand the business, increase income, hire more staff, win awards, gain recognition.  So grow the ever-increasing demands on our time.  We must sacrifice for our success.  Mustn’t we?

What is success?  How will we know it?

We are so efficient.  We can whip off several texts while walking, barely registering the brief excursion outside.

Yet the best intentions can rob us of living fully – and isn’t relishing the beauty of daily life a hallmark of the holiday season?

Let’s try something novel.  Let’s agree to stroll outside for 10 minutes and simply peruse the environs.  Notice whether you return inside refreshed, better able to concentrate on work.  A pertinent aside: serious injuries from distracted walking have skyrocketed over the past four years.

This year, how about topping your list of resolutions with being present in your life?  Make real time for friends, colleagues, family…and even occasionally notice a flower.  It’s not solely the length of time you spend with others, it’s the quality.   Practice focusing on the people in front of you rather than the device beeping in your pocket.  Hint: Lessen temptation by turning off auditory alerts before they have a chance to intrude.

Want to get back to business?  Authentically paying attention to the people in your life creates a solid foundation for all those other goals on your list.


About the Author

Devora Zack, CEO of Only Connect Consulting, is a global keynote speaker, consultant, and coach with 100+ clients such as Cornell University, Smithsonian, Australian Institute of Management, U.S. Department of Education, and Mensa.  Her books, Singletasking, Networking for People Who Hate Networking, and Managing for People Who Hate Managing, are published in over 25 languages. She has been featured in dozens of media including ABC-TV, Fox Business, USA Today, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and Fast Company.